JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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