I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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