Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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