Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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