dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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