I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
