my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
