dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
