dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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