I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
