i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
