Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
