D3 body, D1 cock
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
