I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am available for nakedness
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
