You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
