I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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