D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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