i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
