There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
