They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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