# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
sex in a hospital.. check
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Holy shit dude........stairs
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