physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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