check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
