I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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