Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
