i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
