Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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