Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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