that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
