I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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