Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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