Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i will never coherently bang her
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
