i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
