so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
