So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
