used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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