thus making me awesome and them whores
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
