I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
