I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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