the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
