yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
