Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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