What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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