This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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