is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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