Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
