I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
