I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just threw up on my dentist
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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