never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i think i just lost a toe
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
