dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
