It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
