dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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